I remember exactly where I was on this day, 6 years ago…

I was sitting on my bed, for the month, at a house, next to a derelict vineyard, in Paso Robles.  I was less than two weeks in to a month-long visit with my dad (who, incidentally, would pass away just four-and-a-half weeks later). Whatever mid-day activity I was engaged in ( I remember where I was, not what I was doing)  was interrupted by a call from one of my best friends, Stephanie:

“Hey, I hate to have to call you with this; but, Charlie died.”

My response, like so many others I’ve talked to since, was, “What?” Not in a tone of shock and dismay but of a lack of comprehension. Those words didn’t seem possible. My brain, in that moment, couldn’t even fathom them as words. It took me a good few moments before my brain could comprehend the reality of what had happened. This was not something that even made any kind of sense in reality. How could this cosmic being, whose very existence on it caused the Earth to keep spinning, possibly be gone?

My mind ground into gear and I started trying to figure out what I could do. Should I leave? Was it possible to make the five-hour trek back down to LA to be with my friends? What about the potential nine-hour trek to be in East Jesus? In the end, I relented myself to an evening visit to the local Moose Lodge (My dad was governor of the lodge and had paid my dues for that year) where I drank a shot of Jameson (alone) to the man who started something that would eventually change how I approached my entire existence.

The next several months were a blur. While I spent the better part trying to get my own life into some semblance of an order, East Jesus went through a very tumultuous time where its continued existence found itself in question. I was, unfortunately (or fortunately depending how you look at it), not there for most of it. My first trip out after Charlie’s death was the annual Thanksgiving pilgrimage my good friends and I used to make. Though our first-timers were in awe of the place, most of us veterans could feel the lack of presence of East Jesus. It just wasn’t the same without Charlie. I would soon later come to learn that we were being actively pushed away by the then current “caretaker”. After that trip I was reluctant to ever come back. I even intended to skip Charlie’s birthday. Luckily I was convinced by Chris that everything was different and I should go. By that point Frank had taken the reins and, in doing so, started the healing process that was so desperately needed. Over the course of the next few months things would slowly repair and the atmosphere of East Jesus would solidify into the form we all knew.

That May I would make my first solo, non-party-weekend trip with the express intention of being productive and working on something art or otherwise. It was then that I finally began my journey to East Jesuit. The next year (2013) would see some of my most prolific trips to East Jesus. I made the trek almost every month, accompanied by my ever-present travel companions Flip and Chelsea. That summer saw my first lengthy visit when the three of us spent two weeks as caretakers, along with Ken and Sue, while Frank took the month away. And when Frank informed us that he would be leaving at the end of April of the next year (2014) I was confident that we could find someone that would be able to take over and would do it right…and we found Jenn and Caddy.

From the moment I met them, I knew EJ was going to be in good hands. The knowledge they both possess and the way they approached running EJ was exactly what we needed. They not only had all the expertise we needed and then some; they both understood, right away, what East Jesus was here for and why we all were a part of it. On a personal level, I felt a bond of friendship form that not only changed my life, but validated and continues to validate, to this day, my role as an East Jesuit.

The next few seasons would be full of so many things both good and not-so-good. Losses, reunions, new arrivals. People came and went and came back and then went again but the ever-changing family that is East Jesus continued to grow. The formation of The Chasterus Foundation and the eventual purchasing and legitimizing of East Jesus ensured that we would be here and no one could change that.

Now, six years later, I take every few moments to wonder what Charlie would have thought. I wish I had talked to him more. I was always too unsure of myself to think that we could find any common ground we could talk on. Ironically, thanks to this very thing Charlie created, I would have no problem talking to him now. But, I still wonder every day. Would he be grateful we believed in his crazy idea enough to keep it going? Would he have thought we were all insane for even thinking it was worth it? We’ll never know but the legacy he left behind was and is too important to dismiss just because of a little thing called sanity. We’ll be here to keep it going until the men in white coats take us. Because it would be crazier to just throw away such an important part of so many people’s lives; including this kid that spent the better part of his adult life trying to figure himself out doing all the usual things (school, career, etc.) only to find true purpose among random piles of garbage, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by hobos, vagrants, and degenerates. (heehee)

Thank you Charlie. You helped this wayward weirdo find reason in his existence and the confidence to follow it. I miss you, brother. Wherever you are, I hope you’re having a good time.

MAKE GOOD THING – DO BIG FUN – GET MORE LAID –  RISE AND INFECT